These are not the Droids you are looking for

Halloween has come upon us rapidly, and I have chosen this time to use my powers in the Force. I will bend weak minds to my will and make them give me candy. For FREE. You must always play to your strenghths and hide your weaknesses. I will guard my weakness for candy by displaying my strength in bending people to my will.

You: "Oh, he's so cute! He's a little yoda!"
Me: "That's right, monkey. You adore my cuteness. Now gimme some candy."

Cha-ching, people.



In this photo, I am being led by one of my servants around the parking lot of my school. All around the circumference of the lot are my loyal subjects, clapping and cheering for me. Other children in costume march behind me, clearly mimicking my actions, but I know all the people are here for the B. The Waakabee has arrived, monkeys. You may show your pleasure.



Here I am focusing my power on my hat, trying to make it adjust itself. My hands are full of candy (unpictured), so I must use the Force alone. Do, or do not. My ear is cold.


Later in the day, we went to another part of town to join in a costume parade. We met up with the rest of my crew. My cousins, Aunts, and Uncles met us there and we proceeded to take the 'hood by storm.



Here a local resident falls prey to my cuteness and charm.

I feel that costumes are not chosen randomly. Each speaks to the wearer. I dressed like Yoda to show that I, like the little green Master, am small yet powerful. My skills may be overlooked because of my diminuitive stature, but make no mistake I have great strength. The only thing I lack is that cool pimp cane that Yoda had.



Hank the Tank dresses as a Teddy Graham, because he is tasty and delicious. He also makes Uncle Brad cart him around. A bold show of strength, Hank. Make your dad do the work. I like your gumption. Sophie (background) dresses as a Barbie princess because she has a commanding presence and likes to be doted upon. She also likes plastic dudes with big hard pec muscles and no genitalia. Much like mommy. Aunt 'manda serves as her lady-in-waiting.



Gaberdoody dresses as a parrot/dragon, because he is a colorful character, yet like me has inner strength. He also likes to sit on a giant pile of treasure and eat crackers.




That is all...

OZ - The Baby Years

Life in clan Waakabee is all about ebb and flow. It's about position and pecking order. When one of my lieutenants disgraces the clan, they disgrace me. And sometimes lessons must be taught.

Perfect example: We were out at Cagle farms, checking out the Corn Maize (sic). The 'rents are distracted as they try to line us up for roll call. As such, from left to right are my minions: Gaberdoody, Hank the Tank, Gia, and Slophie all lined up for a photo. I used this opportunity to command HTT to get some playhouse retribution on Gia! As you can see, he's made a shiv out of cornstalk, and is in mid stab. Great action shot. Really catches the family dynamic.

Consider this a lesson, Gia. I mean business.

But then my next most-trusted bruiser, Gaberdoo, decides to use the confusion to strike back at me, showing his solidarity with Gia! As you can see, I blocked his feeble jab with my "paint the fence" move. You got off easy, sucka. Next time, I'm gonna sweep the leg.




That is all...

Keeping an eye out for Jeepers Creepers bat-demon dude

Here we are, cruising in the Corn Maize (sic). It was fun. And more than a little corny.

It's called a pun. Laugh, monkeys!

Next time, I'm bringing some torches and we'll chase people around the field, pretending we're Children of the Corn. I'll be Malachi. You can be the weirdo leader kid. He was lame, anyway.

My Father's College Days, Reprised

We recently went to Amy's [future]* house to have a dinner party and watch Battlestar Galactica. It was fracktastic.

The cuisine was excellent - a fine Mexican meal the likes of which my father craves. The beverages were even better.

I began the night merely sipping on tasty cold beverages. But as you can see, I degenerated faster than Lindsay Lohan at a cocktail bar.

Kneel to me monkeys! Stop laughing and KNEEL!

I got a sugar rush from the soda I was given, and soon, I found myself running around, acting the fool. My pants were soaked. My shirt was drenched. I was crazy happy one minute, then sad the next.

Look at me, I'm crazy cup head! Now gimme some candy!

This is a picture of Amy judging me.

I was later told that my actions were precisely those of my father on any given weekend between 1995 and 2000.

Woops! Damn floor is tricky.

Here is a picture of Kate, also judging me.

BSG is awesome. That's a given. And mexican buffet kicks ass. But above and beyond that, the B rocks the party.

Wooo wooooo!!!

*Amy will soon marry Brian, and then she can officially take over his house as her own.

That is all...