Hello Future Key Chain

Even future dictators/world emperors like soft and fuzzy bunnies. I mean, I also kind of can't wait until he lines the collar of my emperor cloak, but until that day, he's fun and cute and cuddly and soft and warm and lovely and I want to keep him forever.

That is all...

Ground Control to Major Tom

The Waakabee aspires to be an astronaut. Correction. He aspires to be an Astro-Viper. Having the ability to rain terror down on my foes from the nigh-unreachable edge of space is something every growing boy dreams of. Note the similarities:

My dad was so excited at the prospect of being an astronaut that I had to let him try on the helmet. It was kind of a pity thing, like letting the snotty kid at school have your last kleenex because well you know he needs it and the social interaction of just handing him this one tissue will make his day if not his week and besides he's just so fraking pathetic that you want to yell, "take this kleenex and wipe your damn nose, kid!"

Look at this simpleton. The insipid slack-mouthed cow-eyed smile. You can practically hear "JINX PUT MAX IN SPACE" going through his brain. What a toolio.

That is all...

Goodbye Gunkels

Fare thee well to my favorite back yard neighbors, the Gunkels.

They are moving to Kansas City, that shanty town on the river that wishes it was St. Louis. Not that I give two shits about St. Louis, either, but I figure if I need to setup a Midwest capital (for my empire will be divided into provinces with regional capitals), why not do it where they invented watered down American beer? Plus their baseball team has at least gone to the World Series recently. Suck on that Royals.

I will sorely miss Miss Jessica's cookies and I know my parents will miss inviting themselves over for coffee. How Mr. Josh never slapped my dad around and taught him some respect is beyond me. If I had the reach I would.

And Jadon - don't forget that you are still my pick for governor of Latin Americaville. The Mighty Mayan and El Waakabee can show those people how to be great.

That is all...