This Cowboy is Movin' On

Some of you have heard that Waakabee and I are moving. We are ditching our current home and headed for greener pastures.

We'll still be OTP, but a little further out nearer to horse farms and cowpokes.

I don't mean to get all...Waaka on this and go prancing about in costume, but I am practicing my cowboy look.
I like it. What do you think?

That is all...

G'day Mate

Got my didgeridoo and I'm going on a walkabout to see a crocodile.

And then after I've killed that croc, I'll chop off his tail and slap the hell out Waakabee with it.

Why, you ask? Why accost a young boy with a severed crocodile's tail?

Cause sometimes even Wayne Brady has to slap a bitch.

That is all...

Magna Cum Validus

Today I was thrown a parade and ceremony to herald my emergence into boyhood and my eminence in the field of pre-K academia.

For kicks, I let the administrators dress the other children in matching red cap and gown. I felt that having a coterie of disciples who emulate me would be a great way to reinforce the message that I FRAKKING ROCK AND YOU KNOW IT.

My right hand man, my meta-human colleague and trusted consigliari Fred and I look smashing in our outfits, wouldn't you say?

Also in attendance were my lieutenants, Aadi, Aneesh, and Avery. Or as I like to call them, my A-Team. If I had to pick roles, I think it's pretty obvious that Aneesh is Face, Avery is Murdock, Aadi is the van, and Freddie is BA Baracus. That rounds me out to be Hannibal. As if you couldn't tell.

Alright gang, it's time to roll. First we hit the punch, then the cookies, then back to the punch, then we terrorize the two year-old EPS1 class (I'm coming for you, Coop!). Potty break, more cookies, playground, and then maybe we go apeshit on some kids music until our parents come pick us up.

Next stop, Kindergarten biotch!

That is all...

"I cook pancakes, Da-dee"

So... if you leave your cooking ingredients out on the island, go in the other room to investigate the sound of a crash, discover it's your four year-old playing nicely yet destructively, then return and find your two year-old elbow deep in the Bisquick, don't be surprised.

Because clearly, you wanted my help cooking, even though you did not explicitly ask me.

And dammit you should be GRATEFUL.


That is all...