I am allowing Gia to test out my henchman communication interface. Each lever or button cleverly activates a holographic image of one of my minions.

I would say so far the most evil is Cookie Monster. The name inspires both love and fear, at the same time. Much like the Waakabee. And the way in which his terrible jowls crush cookies into so much dust! Much like our enemies, they are no match!

That is all...

Who's the mystery child?

My dad sporting a new Patty McIrish look. I believe that look died in the late 1800s along with most of the potato eaters.

And who there has usurped my spot in dad's embrace? Fret not, it is merely baby Gaberdoody. He will make a most excellent henchman, when he gets older.

That is all...

I've gotten so excited at the success of my henchman communication interface that I am drooling.

Here, I delicately wipe my face. One must keep appearances.

That is all...

To further help you all...

I have put together some quick examples of acceptable and not acceptable desktop wallpapers. I suggest you all pay attention.

Clearly lame.

Perfectly acceptable.

Someone should rent "Bambi".

Navy SEALs are often a good choice. But there are better alternatives.

Come on now. Seriously.

Anyone can clearly see that this is a Ninja wallpaper. Note the ninja's eyes in the lower right hand corner. Ninjas are ALWAYS a great choice.

Ah, the perfect choice. A Waakabee wallpaper. Well done.

That is all...

Let the idolatry begin...

Some of you wonder what I've been up to. Where's Waakabee, you say?

Well, since you cannot seem to get enough of the Waaka-man, I have found a way to meet your basest needs.

You all need someone to love.
Someone to idolize.
Someone to look at and say, "That boy brings me happiness and purpose. That boy brings me JOY."
And, "Yes, I will gladly be his willing servant and peon."

So monkeys, I have had some pictures made for you all to put on your "Desktops". I even went so far as to make them with different colors for your various computer themes. See how beneficent the Waakabee is?

You may ask, "What does this mean?" It clearly means that your fancy shmancy computers no longer need to have worthless pictures for backgrounds. You no longer have need of your pictures of kittens playing kissy face with puppies, of your pictures of meaningless sunsets on beaches your poor asses will never see, or pictures of your own miserable wretched children eating hotdogs at a parade with clowns (how utterly booooooorish).

Download one of these impressive and alluring wallpapers of ME. Make it your new background, and dispense with the picture of the eagle flying over the sketched image of Dale Earnhardt while clutching the American flag. Now, Waakabee can peer at you from your PC all day. Find meaning in your life as you gaze at the Rubenesque beauty of my cheeks. Search the pixelated eyes of me for depth and purpose that those floozy Desparate Housewives and that b*&^ Dr. Phil cannot give you.

Who's that behind the shortcut to Mah Jong? It's Me.

Who's that peeking around that sassy email you're typing to Janis in Accounting? It's Waakabee.

Who could that be staring at you from the background of your meaningless work life? Hello there.


Your pride and joy, your future Leader, Waakabee. Available on your desktop now.

Olive 1024 x 768



Black 1024 x 768




White 1024 x 768



That is all...

Reading is fundamental, fools.

"I am finished with this book, peasant. NEXT!"

Here I have recently finished a book which is helping to hone my skills in character and symbol interpretation. I like to call this amazing ability "Reading". Soon, my mastery of the written word will be complete, and I will be able to decipher the technical and operational specifications of many of your more sophisticated weapon systems and electronic devices, placing myself in the position to most easily subdue and rule you all.

Until then, pass me the next edition of Curious George. That whimsical primate is always causing a ruckus!

My physical prowess is increasing...

I am sooooooo advanced mentally and physically, that it makes you all look like parameseum compared to me. Perfect example: Now I can sit up. That's right. No longer satisfied to be Mr. Layonmyback all day and giggle, I have focused my energy and powers on developing what I like to call "Balance." This means I can right myself, or go hands free and sit up as shown above.

Sitting is good, because now I can practice how I will pose on my throne. Walker's world indeed. Better practice your bowing, monkeys.

In this picture, I am imitating how robots sleep. Mbllllleeeeek.