Some of you wonder what I've been up to. Where's Waakabee, you say?
Well, since you cannot seem to get enough of the Waaka-man, I have found a way to meet your basest needs.
You all need someone to love.
Someone to idolize.
Someone to look at and say, "That boy brings me happiness and purpose. That boy brings me JOY."
And, "Yes, I will gladly be his willing servant and peon."
So monkeys, I have had some pictures made for you all to put on your "Desktops". I even went so far as to make them with different colors for your various computer themes. See how beneficent the Waakabee is?
You may ask, "What does this mean?" It clearly means that your fancy shmancy computers no longer need to have worthless pictures for backgrounds. You no longer have need of your pictures of kittens playing kissy face with puppies, of your pictures of meaningless sunsets on beaches your poor asses will never see, or pictures of your own miserable wretched children eating hotdogs at a parade with clowns (how utterly booooooorish).
Download one of these impressive and alluring wallpapers of ME. Make it your new background, and dispense with the picture of the eagle flying over the sketched image of Dale Earnhardt while clutching the American flag. Now, Waakabee can peer at you from your PC all day. Find meaning in your life as you gaze at the Rubenesque beauty of my cheeks. Search the pixelated eyes of me for depth and purpose that those floozy Desparate Housewives and that b*&^ Dr. Phil cannot give you.
Who's that behind the shortcut to Mah Jong? It's Me.
Who's that peeking around that sassy email you're typing to Janis in Accounting? It's Waakabee.
Who could that be staring at you from the background of your meaningless work life? Hello there.
Your pride and joy, your future Leader, Waakabee. Available on your desktop now.
Well, since you cannot seem to get enough of the Waaka-man, I have found a way to meet your basest needs.
You all need someone to love.
Someone to idolize.
Someone to look at and say, "That boy brings me happiness and purpose. That boy brings me JOY."
And, "Yes, I will gladly be his willing servant and peon."
So monkeys, I have had some pictures made for you all to put on your "Desktops". I even went so far as to make them with different colors for your various computer themes. See how beneficent the Waakabee is?
You may ask, "What does this mean?" It clearly means that your fancy shmancy computers no longer need to have worthless pictures for backgrounds. You no longer have need of your pictures of kittens playing kissy face with puppies, of your pictures of meaningless sunsets on beaches your poor asses will never see, or pictures of your own miserable wretched children eating hotdogs at a parade with clowns (how utterly booooooorish).
Download one of these impressive and alluring wallpapers of ME. Make it your new background, and dispense with the picture of the eagle flying over the sketched image of Dale Earnhardt while clutching the American flag. Now, Waakabee can peer at you from your PC all day. Find meaning in your life as you gaze at the Rubenesque beauty of my cheeks. Search the pixelated eyes of me for depth and purpose that those floozy Desparate Housewives and that b*&^ Dr. Phil cannot give you.
Who's that behind the shortcut to Mah Jong? It's Me.
Who's that peeking around that sassy email you're typing to Janis in Accounting? It's Waakabee.
Who could that be staring at you from the background of your meaningless work life? Hello there.
Your pride and joy, your future Leader, Waakabee. Available on your desktop now.
No comments:
Post a Comment