Today I...

...practiced my three-point stance. I'll be ready for those Dawgs, when the time comes. And that, technically, is like eighteen years away. But, I'll be ready.

I also practiced my game face. This is me looking mean. Or, basically, how I look at my subjects every day. Rule by intimidation.

Then I practiced my skillz on a moving target, to simulate my d-end attack. I chose my toy Hummer truck. It's tough looking, but ultimately all flash and bravado, much like those UGA backs. Hence, it was the perfect choice.

I got down in my stance...

And then I jumped offsides and ate some pavement. Stoopid slopey driveway.

Dad said to "rub some dirt on it kid, and get back in the game."

What an ass. I just faceplanted on concrete.

So I say, "Dad, I'm this close to kicking you in the jimmy, you lump. Stop taking parenting lessons from Brittany Spears. I'm going inside to have some teddy grahams. "

That is all...