Bubbles help release the Evil within

Today I took a bubble bath!

And so this may seem like a playful and innocent bubble bath to you. But as with all things Waaka, the seemingly benign turns out to be something much much more important and exciting.

So what was I up to in my bubble bath? First I check my trusty watch, which I stole off my dad. It says that it's time. Time to what? Time to rock? Time to party? Time to get ill?

No, it's time to try my force lightning. I've been focusing on all my anger and hate and disappointment in this life (e.g. I still don't own an M-60), and then visualizing nasty purple bolts from my hands and my dad's head exploding into a fine pink mist.

First I dip my hand in the water, cause we all know that water helps electricity.

Then I concentrate, and then I try my powers on dad...

But the Dark Side fails me. Oh well. I've still got years to work on it. I mean, that whiney bitch Hayden Christensen didn't get them until he was like 19 years old...

Kids on Parade

What with all the hoopla, appliance sales, fireworks, and barbeqeues, I figured I might as well join in the celebrations for the USA's bday. I mean it's not yet the country I plan to make it when I rule the world*, but I guess it's not such a bad place. Plus, if you're a cute little boy who waves a little flag and pretends to be excited, you get free hot dogs and cupcakes at nearly any place in the damn country on July 4th.

So I helped organize a little parade in my school, which I meant to be an exercise in coordinating troop movements in close quarter combat situations. But it really turned into a giant CF, a term I learned from my mom.

But, I was excited that mom showed up. Some days I like her. Some days I want to sell her into bondage for cheap. Today is more like the former.



But then my dad showed up. What a tool. Look at that hair. What is that, a hedgehog on your enormous forehead? I soooo don't like you.

That is all...