A Lesson in Hygiene

Coop says: Today I learned that the white plastic baskets with colorful round cakes found in the urinals of the South Cobb Community Center are NOT toys filled with candy. I also learned a new expression that I don't think I've ever heard daddy say before: "oh sweet fucking christ." Waaka assures me he hasn't heard that before, either.

I did get the opportunity to wash my hands like a big boy - five times. What fun! Maybe I'm finally moving beyond wet wipes, and into the world of soap and water!

Princess Waaka was going on about the smell of the place, otherwise I think daddy would have let me wash my hands more.

We're off to play outside where daddy says I can get into less trouble.

The B Likes to Sing

Coop and I have been practicing our Little Einsteins routine for this fall's "Little Dictator" talent show and jamboree. I'm looking forward to the funnel cakes, the keynote topic of "Waterboarding vs Slip N' Slide For Interrogation", and the ring toss.



That is all...

The B says...

My kingdom, laid out before us in rustic granite relief. If only Cooper would be my willing second in command, helping me rule with justice, fear, and power. Instead he is a bitter disappointment.

Here's a prime example: I asked him what is greatest in life. He said, "yar-gins". This is Cooper pidgin for "The Backyardigans". No doubt his answer was influenced by the mind-numbing two hour car ride filled with endless repeats of the Backyardigans' hits played on the stereo. I believe I saw dad's ears bleeding at one point, but who pays attention to morons?

Anyway, clearly the correct answer to my question is, "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women." I also would have accepted, "desert eagle .50," or "shapely curves on a cougar" But alas, Coop is oblivious.

Cooper, thou hast shamed me.

That is all...

NOM!

Dad says we can have some special treats if we behave tonight!

I will let Coop earn his, and when dad is not looking I will whoop Coop's ass and take his cookie like a ninja. Ninjas love cookies.

Car Rides Also

Are a great time to study war documentaries, the better to learn how to crush one's enemy with.

Car rides

Are great reading time.