It is now confirmed, monkeys, that I am mobile.
I have completed testing of my personal locomotion apparatus and have begun crawling. I am now fully capable of moving anywhere I so choose, and I am able to move around or through smaller roadblocks and impediments.
In field tests, I have successfully traveled in a straight line. I have been able to perform right-hand and left-hand turns. I am capable of turning 360 degrees and going in reverse. Much like Optimus Prime, I can travel a great distance, and then transform into a killing machine complete with grasping arms and swiveling head in less than two seconds.
For my first field exercise, Operation Baby Thunder, I stalked Charlie across the room and successfully grabbed his tail. In my second exercise, Operation Smokey Bandit, performed in cooperation with Mommy, I was able to move from one room to another while being pursued at high speeds. In my final field exercise, I tested my mobile infant to havoc wreaker back to mobile infant capabilities in the living room, while the enemy (Daddy) was sanding and painting cabinets. I was able to move in, strike, and move out in less than 30 seconds, leaving a trail of sawdust and black interior semigloss paint. Needless to say, Operation Painted Hyena was a huge success.
I am now moving on to continued research in elevated warfare, having mastered raising up on one knee nearly a month ago.
I'm sure that it won't be long until I live up to my namesake and am capable of bi-pedal locomotion. Then all shall rue the day they mocked my previous inability to walk! Especially you, Ralphie! Your time is drawing near.
That is all...
So where are the updates? What you start to move around and you think that you no longer need to update the site? You go on vacation and can't spend 5 minutes letting us know what is going on? I really think that your lazy father needs to get up off of his lazy back side and spend a little quality time with the blog.
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